I keep thinking about the whole Boston marathon bombings and stuff a wonder: should I hate them for the damage done or thank them for uniting us all again?
I have never been a part of any major tragedies or had any great, huge life changing experiences (that I am aware of). My brother & sister were affected by the Northridge earthquake in California 1994 and in 2004, closer to home, hurricane Charley damaged my parents residence moving them closer to me which impacting Gil and I a bit. We had a minor fire in the house, but nothing was really damaged. I moved a lot as a kid, learned to fly when I was young, but failed at learning to land (once was enough). When I was young my dad had cancer and I learned quickly people don't like to deal with life & death situations, especially when you are around 13 years old; Break-ups are hard enough, who wants to deal with a parent on death door. (my dad is still alive, by the way - 91 years old now, WWII and 3x cancer survivor!)
Even though I found a deeper faith in Christ in college, I learned then that life goes on and as long as you keep moving, no one will really notice when anything is wrong; even if you stop for a moment, everyone has their own problems, they don't really notice or want to notice yours. It's cynical, but kind of how I've learned to live; learned to cope. We're pretty much on our own; God is probably the only one listening.
This is Gil's second go around with Hodgkin's. 7 years ago, the chemo made him pretty sick. His allergy to one of the drugs was rare and probably contributed to his overall sickness. The only real support system we had in place was family and church, but there were a lot of emotions to overcome and a lot of distance. A lot of people asked about his health and we had a pretty good tech team at church, but there were few offers of assistance. Life went on, we got through and here we are again, 7 years later...a different strain of Hodgkins and slightly different circumstances.
The chemo Gil started out with actually went pretty smoothly, considering it was supposed to be a more aggressive mix - 3 days on with one being a 24 hour drip, 18 days off, for 2 cycles.The first week of the cycle was the worst, but the rest a piece of cake! My run team has been super supportive, the coaches and others asking if there is anything they can do to help. Church has been more supportive with the pastor actually getting upset with Gil being at work at times. Even my parent's church, whose pastor is dealing with his wife's cancer, has been praying and supporting us!
When the bone marrow transplant was suggested, family and friends actually asked about donating. When the transplant got pushed back, everyone was very understanding - my sub at school, the girls that were going to housesit, the county (risk management?) and school secretary for having to change my family medical leave. Gil was put on a new 'designer' chemo that takes the wind out him, but we kept going.
Now, as we prepare for the second time to move to Tampa for the transplant, I've been blown away by the continued support. Mary Wilson, who was my sub, was supposed to start her vacation in May. She and her husband put off their vacation so she could finish out the rest of the school year for me. People at church are supporting us in various ways; offering housing, visitations, deliveries...
This has blown my mind. 7 years ago I was angry and upset at how little help and support we had; now we have more support than we know what to do with, but as we face the unknown with the bone marrow transplant, we may need it. Groceries, laundry, a moment to go for a short run (we'll be staying near Lettuce Lake park!), our Tampa family may be called on quite a bit. When we come home I'm not sure what kind of help we'll need, if any. We've heard best and worst case scenarios - be we won't know how we'll handle things till we get there.
Hope you all aren't totally 'prayed' out yet. I know this feels like it's been going on forever, but I'm keeping my faith and you all have helped me renew my faith in man.
I'm not gonna lie. As we face this bone marrow thing, we're a little scared. I try not to think about the 'what-if's', Gil can't help but think about them. We are dealing with it all one day at a time.
“That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!” (2 Corinthians 4:15-17 NLT)
